Two Roads, Which One Should I Pick?

I just want to start off by saying I love my co-workers, they are the reason why I love my job and haven’t quit yet, especially my friend Austin he has been my homie since I started working at my job and just someone I look up to especially since he’s a runner and I wish I could run as much as he does. One day we were talking about our love lives during work and Austin knows I’m not completely over my ex and he always asks me hey when are you going to message your ex. I always tell him eventually knowing I’m not going to do it, but one day Austin asks all my coworkers hey do you think Steven should message his ex and everyone says yeah why not and another coworker said “wait do you want to hook up with her” and I was like “no not at all, like I actually miss her, that’s the love of my life” and he said oh yeah you should do it then. Austin asked “Steven what do you have to lose?” I said “my dignity” I meant it jokingly but I didn’t want to say this in front of all my coworkers but I don’t know if she thinks about me like I do, we don’t talk at all like we use to when we first broke up, and most importantly what if she’s happier without me, her happiness means the world to me and I don’t want to be that guy that keeps running back into her life and just making her life worse if she’s already happy (I’m afraid of being a nuisance for her). Austin brought up a good point though he said “you’ll never know unless you talk to her” and he’s completely right its like Michael Scott/Wayne Gretzky quote “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” and I get that but I’m in a better place than I was when I first broke up with my ex and if I did message her and I got a no or just no response I think it would break my heart again. I don’t know if my heart can handle that again, getting reject by the person you love the most it scares me. So I can lose her forever or I can suck it up and not wonder what could have been if I actually messaged her. I just don’t know, but something tells me (my gut) I should just let her go and let her enjoy life, because if she wanted me back she would come to me, she knows my door is always open (would she come back though? or would pride affect her to though?), I just don’t know. 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s