Yesterday I went to this bar called the Nutty Irishman in Farmingdale, it was pretty good, I made out with a stranger and that was something I’ve never done before. I don’t really talk to woman at the bar, I kind of just vibe, so this was just new for me. When we kissed I felt absolutely nothing and I don’t know if I like that. It made me feel like I was emotionally unavailable. She was a pretty girl too but I don’t know maybe hooking up with people just isn’t my thing. She came up to me and kept saying “oh my god you’re so fucking cute” to me and to be honest I’m really bad when it comes to people complimenting me. I didn’t know what to do when she complimented me so I shrugged my shoulders, she laughed. So she grabbed my hand and we started dancing (bumping and grinding) and then she called me cute again so I was like fuck it, let me kiss her. I’ve kissed a few people and all of them were always different of course but there was like a connection but this time it was like I wasn’t even there. When I was in a relationship, hooking up with girls was something I always wanted to experience and some days I still do but I don’t know, I feel like I can’t get passed the “you have to be in a relationship to have sex” mindset. Last night was definitely a confidence booster though. I’ve been noticing girls staring at me more at the bars lately, so that helps my ego. I’m still trying to get out of my comfort zone, so I’m curious how my life plays out from here. If anyone has any tips or ever experienced what I’m going through please leave a comment and let me know. I love looking at other people’s perspectives.