Dating.

This is a term I like to use loosely because in reality dating scares the shit out of me, so I haven’t been on a date since November and Tuesday (which is tomorrow) will make it the second girl I will be going on a date with since my ex. The first girl was actually really sweet but she reminded me too much of my ex and I was having a mental breakdown because of it trying to find any reason that there was something wrong with her, but it has always been me and I hope she found someone better because I did, she did not deserve that. She was so sweet, so Ellie if you are reading this which I doubt you are because we last spoke in November and I doubt I left a “memorable impression” for you to go back on my website, I do apologize for just acting so immature and not telling you how I felt at the moment, how commitment scares the crap and just relationships scare me in general. I’m scared that my past will repeat itself where, I invest myself into someone and it doesn’t work out again. After Ellie though, I tried the hook up life which was cool I guess, I didn’t like it though, I didn’t like the “nothing” feeling, I didn’t like feeling nothing, if anything I felt worse about myself, so I decided to go on tinder again and I started talking to someone and she seems really dope like she reminds me of a mixture of my ex and me which I find kind of cool, it’s different because she talks like me, which is funny to me but a lot of the interests or things she likes are things my ex likes but I have to not be afraid anymore and see where can this take me. So today’s message I guess is to face your fears! Have a great day everyone!

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