Flipping the script.

The way life works out is always weird, it’s a unique experience never the less, especially when you notice your growth and maturity. Anyways I have friends that have been going through terrible break ups and I’ve been the person to try to swoop in and to try to help them through it. I’ve been through a lot and I fucked up a lot and of course I wish someone was there for me but there wasn’t but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t help them. The way I handled things in the past was just so immature, toxic, and I burnt bridges I wish I didn’t burn and I apologize for it but I also don’t need their forgiveness or sympathy, I just needed to love me and accept what I did and keep it moving I actually told two of my closest friends a secret about my last long term relationship that I have never told absolutely anyone about this not even my ex knows this but that felt liberating like weight lifted off my shoulders just admitted to what your mistakes were in the past and why things happened now helps just understanding helps, So two of my friends are going through long term break ups and I’m trying to show both of them how to be happy without alcohol. Alcohol personally is my worst enemy when I’m going through tough times, it causes to get super depressed, where I don’t want to be alive so I only drink when I’m in a social setting and I don’t get extremely drunk just drunk enough that people think I am any ways, my friends they’re two different people one is handling it better than the other person and of course the one handling it better is the one who is a closer friend to me the other day he complimented me too, he said “I’m so lucky to have a friend like you” and that meant the world to me because I think he’s so cool but my other friend isn’t handling it too well, he called me fake, so that cancels that compliment out. I told both of them at separate occasions the same advice, I told them “you can either rip the bandaid off or you and can peel it off slowly, either way it’s going to hurt, just one lasts longer than the other.” When I was going through my break up I peeled the bandaid off extremely slow and my suffering would not end. Unfortunately only one friend listen to my advice and other is sort of making a fool out of himself, especially on social media, friends are talking shit behind his back except for me because I see and understand what he’s going through but he thinks I’m the fake one which is kind of funny because I was the only one who was trying to help him cope in a healthy ways. I took this kid to the city and just explore, I took him to this state park to just hike, clearing his mind and just focusing on what’s really important which is himself, Which I’ve been doing and I feel like I’ve never been happier, I also began gaining confidence in myself again. For the longest time I thought I was ugly but now I’m that cocky piece of shit that I love again just a bit different this time. Anyways I’m going to continue to be there for my friends even if it comes with insults because sometimes people just need somebody to be there. I know I wish I did but I didn’t, so instead of being petty of the situation and not being there for them, I want to be there for them so they can return the favor to someone else who needs it. I think being single is actually important, it allows you to grow and notice flaws and you should only want to continue to grow. Well that’s all I got for now hope everyone has a great week!

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