Music August 2019

I decided I should make a playlist every month because I have great taste in music. I will try to keep playlist versatile so it’s not always just one genre but let’s see how this goes, enjoy!!!

Advertisements

Flaws of Tinder

I guess I really never thought about it before but tinder is not where I’m going to find a girlfriend. First flaw I noticed about tinder is the type of people I see, these women aren’t looking to settle down but to have some “fun” which isn’t bad but it’s not what I’m looking for. Flaw number 2 the abundance of 18 year old(s) on the app, these women are young and most of are still trying to comprehend their emotions. 3rd flaw and I guess this is my fault but every time I meet someone from tinder, like go on a date they want to have sex on the first date (I know, I know, why are you complaining Steven) and I always have to decline because one, I just don’t feel comfortable doing that yet or two, I didn’t bring a condom because its the first date. I genuinely want to meet people but when I talk about small things like trying to get know the person I feel like I get shut out like they talk about something else or ignore the question. Anyways maybe I’ll switch to bumble but bumble scares me as well since I had a traumatic experience from bumble. Well keep on rocking everyone!

Boys in the woods.

As if we were kids again. Let’s get lost in this moss we call the woods. The deeper I go, I feel my soul feel electric. This is what makes me feel alive. Not a care in the world, not afraid to die. Exploring new horizons, wondering what can we find. Excited by making new trails and paths. Just boys in the woods. Wondering how far our legs go. Wondering how long my lungs can last. Whether I walk slow or fast, noticing how my heart will react. Loving my sight, inspiration by a different kind of beauty. The Sun beaming, kissing my skin, drenched in sweat, can’t get enough of sunsets. Two boys wanting to take over the world, wishing we could just live here forever.

Don’t be quick to react.

You ever do something out of spite or just the heat of the moment? My mom made me do some spring cleaning about 2 weekends ago and I threw out a lot of stuff, stuff that I can never get back and now it’s hitting me like damn why did I do that. I know why I did it at the time but now I’m regretting what I did. For some odd reason I picked up my old laptop and I connected my phone and I saw photos that I no longer have on my phone that were on my old laptop so I’m glad I still have them because they make me smile and there’s nothing wrong with enjoying some old memories just don’t live in the past, it is what it is, and things will be how they’re suppose to be so don’t stress life, it’s not suppose to be a perfect Hollywood movie, it’s suppose to be this beautiful mess of new adventures and as time goes on so will the people you go on those adventures with. Just remember though, no matter how upset you are at the moment think of the long run how beneficial that thing you’re about to do may be for you.

Nail biter

So something people don’t know about me is that, I actually have anxiety. I think one person knows about it but I never told them I had it. I always play it cool, you’d never assume that I’m an anxious person because I seem cool, calm, and collected but in reality I’m freaking out on inside. I use to bite my nails all the time in front of this person and they would always question me why I would bite them but I played it off and told them it was a force of habit. I no longer bite my nails because I had invisible aligners for awhile and was unable to bite my nails and I haven’t felt really anxious in awhile either (I tend to get anxious while driving alone to place I’m unfamiliar with). Today I am feeling pretty anxious though. I got promoted at my job and now I have to do computer stuff and I consider myself a tech savvy person but I was trained for maybe an hour yesterday and now I have to do it on my own today. The reason I feel anxious is because if I fuck up then the company can miss out on thousands of dollars. I tend to mess up at my job to begin with, so this nerve wrecking. Right now I’m just rerunning what I learned yesterday in my head over and over again before I go to work. The more I do it, the more I wished that I asked more questions. I hate messing up. It makes me feel dumb. I keep telling myself it’s going to be fine just go slowly but I feel like I’m going to forget steps. I should probably drink some tea to calm down. Anyways I hope everyone is having a better start to their day than I am! Happy Wednesday guy! Friendly reminder to take it slow!

5 year plan?

Yesterday someone posted an Instagram poll on their story asking their followers if they had a 5 year plan. I didn’t have one. That made me feel like my life didn’t have a purpose because I don’t know what’s to come next with my life. In 5 years I’ll be 27/28 years old. I want to do something with my life but I don’t know what. Right now my life consists of just working. I work Monday through Saturday. I don’t mind my job but I also don’t want that to be my life forever. So I guess this post is forcing me to come up with a 5 year plan now. So year one I move out my house, move in with two of my friends. Year two depending how I’m doing financially, go back to school, switch my major to English since I’m a psychology major now and no longer want to continue studying psychology. Year three attempt to write a book. Year four maybe find somebody to love (I don’t know if I want to get married though, so I should probably figure that out first). Year five, take a vacation from everything and everyone. I feel like I always have trouble figuring out who I am, maybe this way I can. Personally I don’t like how my 5 year plan sounds right now but maybe there will some tweaks along the way. Well let me know if you guys have a 5 year plan, or just an idea of what your future may look like. Have a great day guys!