Advice to myself

You really do appreciate all the little things people do for you when they’re gone. Don’t take people for granted. Nothing last forever. There’s just so much bullshit someone can put up with until they want to go. The thing about change is, you can change all you want, but the other person doesn’t need to take you back, that’s their decision and you just have to accept that, just continue to change for the better. Don’t change for someone else, change because you want to be that person who gives and does better. Always be the version of yourself. Always be kind to others and remember to smile, life is too short to be sad or angry. Don’t feel sorry all the time, everyone makes mistakes. Live in the moment, enjoy every second. Remember people love you.

Just something I have to remind myself everyday.

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April’s Real Fool

No one thinks about the jester
But the jester thinks about you
I have to keep you entertained
I mean you’re the queen living in the castle
And I’m the man without a home
I still wonder when you’ll let me in
All those knights, yet I’m still stupid enough to put up a fight
All those nights, I’m still acting like a fool
But you’re the queen and I’m your tool
On some days, even me the jester wants the queen

Say My Name

I miss you more than words could ever explain.
I know that it’s all in my brain,
but I stay up at night thinking of you and that drives me insane,
That’s my own fault and I’m the one to blame.
Maybe someday you’ll feel the same,
Hopefully one day you’ll say my name.

Fill Rust.

You make me so numb
I wish I could feel
But my emotions you steal
I guess that’s just how I’m made
My heart with a blockade
I can’t grow in this cage
In rage
How could you walk
Without a talk
You said forever
I didn’t think that meant never
You never gave me enough credit
I mean you said it
I’m not him.
Something about his aurora or his presence
You made me feel like peasant
So unpleasant
I try to act like I’m not hurt or like I’m okay
But no lie
I still cry
Trying to forget what you did
Who am I going to kid
I’m scarred
And all that love you borrowed
I need it back so I don’t spiral
Oh how I was a fool
You used me like tool
Right in front me with all that disrespect
But how was I suppose to suspect
Let alone detect what was under my nose
Stupid of me that no questions arose
I mean what am I suppose to do
You already chose
I hope it was worth it
Because I’ve never felt more broken.
Maybe I should be king of the knots,
Since I always have knots in my stomach.

Mess

My life will never be the same
I have a soul that can’t be tamed 
Lost the love of my life
The person who I taught was going to be my wife 
I dropped out of university 
Now I’m trying to figure out what the universe means to me 
My life’s a mess 
Somehow it’s been the best 
My life is a mess and I couldn’t be any more happier

Maybe One Day

Maybe one day I’ll see you and tell you I found someone new,
someone who doesn’t give up on me.
Maybe one day I’ll see you and tell you I’m in love with someone else,
someone would loves me better than you did.
Maybe one day I’ll see you and tell you I’m extremely happy,
happier since you left my life.
Today I haven’t found anyone new.
Today I’m still madly in love with you.
Today no matter how happy I think I am, it will never compared to the moments I was with you. 

Stranger on the Train

Maybe it was the way she stood with no care in the world
Blasting her music on the train like no one would notice how loud it was playing
Walking around the train like she owned the place
You could tell she didn’t give a fuck
She walked on the train and the first thing I noticed was her skateboard
Mysterious with her sunglasses on
I just wanted a taste of her brain, just wanting to know more
She was so foreign to me
She was unique in the way she presented herself
But she was herself
No front
No bullshit
So confident and that’s what made her sexy
Not her body or face, just her fierce confidence
And I wanted to get to know her.