Yesterday

Yesterday I got stung by a bee. I was scared since I’ve never been stung by a bee before, at first I thought it was a tick since my friend and I were talking about a tick that changes your DNA to make you allergic to meat. Then after feeling pain on my right leg, I was like fuck why am I in so much pain right now and I look behind me to notice it was a yellow jacket (technically a wasp and not a bee btw) stinging the shit out of me. If you know anything about bees or wasp, yellow jackets just sting you because they’re assholes, like they enjoy doing it and they don’t die after stinging you, so don’t take it personal. Anyways this guy was stinging me for at least a minute until he finally got off of me, I was mad at first but then I was like you know what it’s all good. Mr. Yellow Jacket could of stung anyone but he stung me, I must be special =). Enjoy being outside, there’s always cool things you can find, so don’t let bees, wasps or ticks ruin your fun!

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Are You A Fuckboy?

What is a fuckboy? A fuckboy to me is a man or a boy who only uses people for sexual intentions with no intentions of committing to a relationship. Why is this a problem? Fuckboys don’t tell their partners that they don’t want a relationship thus hurting their partners. So, am I a fuckboy? By my definition I don’t think so, but I’ll let you decide at the end of this post. In high school I didn’t have many relationships because I didn’t “glow up” until after puberty which was 11th grade. Before 11th grade I only had one relationship. It was in the 9th grade and that didn’t last long so I don’t really count that as a relationship. In 11th grade I was making out with a girl who was in a relationship, which at the time I didn’t really care because I was a dickhead in high school plus I actually liked the girl at the time (the girl was really mean and she would black mail me using my nudes (don’t sext)), I don’t know what was wrong with me at the time but luckily for me her phone broke and all my nudes got erased. After my nudes got erased, I made a move on my ex girlfriend and we had a relationship which lasted about 4 years. During those 4 years, I was still a dickhead. During the 1st year of our relationship was the first time I hurt her. I cheated on her (no I didn’t have sex with another girl, but I kissed another girl) this really affected my ex but since I told her immediately and I felt like shit after I did it, I guess she forgave me. Then 2 or 3 years later I did something stupid to impress my friend because I wanted him to think I was cool (don’t fall into peer pressure) I grabbed some girl’s boob and was flirting hard with her. I didn’t tell my ex right away because I knew this time, she would have not forgave me, but eventually I told her, and we did break up because let’s be honest relationships won’t last if you lie to one another. So, am I a fuckboy? Probably, I don’t know. There was this one time this girl messaged me immediately after I broke up with my ex and told me how she liked me in high school (I didn’t believe her because I knew for a fact she was obsessed with this other guy) but she told me that and invited me over to her house, I thought she was inviting me over for sex. I was wrong, we watched some shitty movie. So the next day I blocked her number. After all this happening in my life, I think it taught me a valuable lessons and I owe the girl’s in this post an apology. I owe my 9th grade ex a apology because, I ghosted her since she gave me mono. I owe the girl who was in a relationship at the time an apology too, I should have never gotten involved with her like the way I did. I ruined her relationship and I owe her boyfriend at the time an apology, he was a really nice guy and when he found out about me, all his friends wanted to kick my ass but he told them not to, which is just really nice of him so I feel like more of an asshole now. I owe my ex the biggest apology of all because I obviously was not mature enough for our relationship since I always acted like a child, I wish I could have been better. I’m sorry. I owe the girl I kissed an apology because I led her on and had no intention of ever leaving my ex for her. To the girl who’s boob I grabbed, I’m not saying sorry because she messed with guys who were in a relationship. I know its my fault in the situation but she shouldn’t do that either. To the girl who I blocked, I’m not apologizing either. So, do I think I’m a fuckboy, no. I think I learned my lesson. I feel like a fuckboy would not have remorse to what he has done, and I never want to hurt anyone like the way I hurt my ex. I don’t want to be that guy and I refuse to be that guy again. Life is about learning and that’s what I plan to do. One important thing my ex said to me while we were broken up, which are words I live by now, “be honest with girls”. So, are you a fuckboy? Also do you think all men cheat?

Why I Hate Dating Apps

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Let me start off by telling you a story. I have never met up with anyone I met on a dating app nor do I think I ever will, I do talk to women though. There was this one girl I spoke to on Tinder and I super liked her, because in her Bio it said she had a Corgi and she gets a discount at Target (my favorite store to go shopping). We end up matching of course, so I messaged her. It took her 8 days to respond but whatever. She messaged me back. I didn’t like her like that because she was 5’10 and I’m 6 feet tall (I’m actually 5’11 but who actually carries a ruler with them) but like I said she had a Corgi (Corgis are my favorite dog) so we start talking and it seemed like we had a lot in common and she told me she actually had two Corgi, which is a game changer, I have to continue talking to her now, but one day she stopped responding. This resulted in my heart being broken, just kidding I barely knew this girl, but this isn’t the reason why I hate dating apps. There are so many reasons why I hate dating apps. The main reason why I hate them is simply because they’re stupid. Why are they stupid you ask? Well let me explain, I don’t enjoy talking to strangers, I don’t like talking to people in general (I only message people after I smoke weed, I guess this is my liquid courage). I think everyone is boring personally (I’m sure people think I’m boring). Whether it’s Tinder or Bumble they both suck. I hate Tinder because I tend to just swipe right on everyone, so I can get a match, then when I do get a match, you can’t just message a girl saying “hey what’s up” or “hey how’s it going” because that’s too generic of an introduction, so I use my secret weapon which works about 75 percent of the time. I like to send GIFS, specifically of a seal waving and saying “sup” (just type seal sup, it’ll pop up) for some odd reason girls respond to this, maybe it’s funny, maybe it’s cute, maybe girls are just as horny as I am and want to talk, I don’t know, just somehow it works. After all that hard work of me sending my seal GIF I always get a “hey” in return and this pisses me off. This is the reason why I hate bumble. On bumble it’s acceptable for girls to send guys “hi” or “hey” and we’ll sure damn respond but if a guy does that on tinder you get no response what so ever. Maybe we should have double standards, I don’t know. Another reason why I hate dating apps is because, do we really get to know one another? Like I’m not telling a stranger my life story and every single detail about myself and I doubt they are telling me theirs. I hate it when girls ask me “what do you do for fun” and my response is “I don’t know, I don’t really do much anymore, I just work, go to the gym and run” this makes me sound extremely boring. Should I start lying to people? Start telling them how crazy my life is? In real life I’m actually a catch and I think I’m funny, but you’ll never know or experience that while messaging me on a dating app because well, I’m socially awkward and just don’t know what to do during these interactions. Any ways these are the reasons why I hate dating apps, yet I will continue to use them because I’m bored, and I enjoy swiping on people while on the toilet. By the way, if the girl with the Corgis ever reads this, please message me back. I would really love to play with your dogs and I would also love a discount at Target!