What’s to come…

So with work and just life going on, I’ve just been very busy lately and I know that isn’t an excuse and I’m probably just going to get busier with summer coming but like in my last post I do want to write more.

So what is to come in the future? Well yesterday I just bought my first DSLR camera which I’ve been wanting to buy since last year. I just need to make one more big purchase and I’m set to start my summer project. My summer project I’ve been planning it out here and there but I’m getting closer to start it. So I use to make YouTube videos and let me tell you they were terrible so I deleted all of them except for one because I knew I was going to do YouTube again and I didn’t want to start over with making a channel. Why’d I quit in the first place? Good question at that point of my life I was just giving up on everything, I was frustrated and my computer wasn’t strong enough to handle video editing so it took way too long to edit a video plus while watching the video during editing it would always lag while I edit so I couldn’t see what exactly I was editing or I’d have to watch it over and over again until I got it right, the videos weren’t coming out how I wanted them to be but now that I have this great big idea I think I’m ready to try again. Since my knowledge about film making, computers and cameras grew.

What’s my big idea? Another good question well when I first did YouTube it was strictly Vlogs and I felt like I had to force my life to be exciting and it didn’t seem genuine. I always wanted to make films. Films, photos, and writing are where I get to show off my creativity. So as some of my first couple of followers know, I was majoring in psychology at University at Albany, why is that important to know well my videos aren’t going to be about psychology necessarily but I’m starting off with my friends (my friends don’t know yet I’ve been keeping quiet about it) then working up my courage to ask strangers but I’m going to ask them deep questions and they can answer it however they want to answer it jokingly or seriously whatever but I want it to be like a therapy session where they can vent their feelings or problems, where I can be someone people talk to and I know not many people are open to sharing their feelings especially on the internet but we’ll see how it goes. This is a learning experience and we’ll see how it goes. Every time I have a new idea as in a new question to ask people I write it down in my book that no one knows I own (top secret 🤫). So for example my first question I wrote down was “why aren’t you where you want to be in life” these types of questions aren’t to make people feel bad, they’re so people understand we’re more similar to each other than you think. Everyone goes through shit and experiences are different for everyone, so it’s okay if you’re not at the point in life where you want to be. It’s okay to feel hurt sometimes.

Well more to come soon I’ll keep you guys update when I start my project it’s most likely beginning in the end of summer but I’ll keep you posted and to all my followers thank you for your patiences and support. I hope all this will be worth the wait, in the meantime here’s my first crappy blog if anyone wants to check it out https://youtu.be/1qL_IIZJBVk

Peace ✌🏽

Advertisements

Taking the Sourest Lemon and Somehow Turning it to Something That Resembles Lemonade

I was watching ‘A Million Little Things’ today (which is an amazing show by the way, makes me cry all the time.) and one of the characters Jon said “we can’t change our past, we can only change our reaction to it, because even if the past is painful, you never know when it will lead to something wonderful.” For me this quote perfectly explained how I live my life now, I mean there’s not a day that doesn’t go by where I wish I could change the past because I’ve done some fucked up things, but I know I can’t. A few months ago, I was just tired of feeling bad for myself, I was just guilty of things I couldn’t control, things that weren’t even my fault. I decided that I would take all my pain and turn it into something I could learn from. I think I matured so much because of this, I’m no longer a person who hates, I’m someone who motivates. I will no longer put people down because of my past, not even the people who have hurt me, yes I might take a step back from them because I don’t want that negative energy in my life, but all that anger that person may have towards me, I will no longer fight fire with fire, I will fight fire with love. One day that pain will go away, lets spread love. Let’s turn something ugly into something that could possibly be beautiful one day. Just remember everything is beautiful depending how you look at it. This quote is amazing honestly, wish I heard it sooner. My past can never be changed, and I’ve accepted and no longer mad about it and I know my future is bright.