As if we were kids again. Let’s get lost in this moss we call the woods. The deeper I go, I feel my soul feel electric. This is what makes me feel alive. Not a care in the world, not afraid to die. Exploring new horizons, wondering what can we find. Excited by making new trails and paths. Just boys in the woods. Wondering how far our legs go. Wondering how long my lungs can last. Whether I walk slow or fast, noticing how my heart will react. Loving my sight, inspiration by a different kind of beauty. The Sun beaming, kissing my skin, drenched in sweat, can’t get enough of sunsets. Two boys wanting to take over the world, wishing we could just live here forever.
Let me start off by telling you a story. I have never met up with anyone I met on a dating app nor do I think I ever will, I do talk to women though. There was this one girl I spoke to on Tinder and I super liked her, because in her Bio it said she had a Corgi and she gets a discount at Target (my favorite store to go shopping). We end up matching of course, so I messaged her. It took her 8 days to respond but whatever. She messaged me back. I didn’t like her like that because she was 5’10 and I’m 6 feet tall (I’m actually 5’11 but who actually carries a ruler with them) but like I said she had a Corgi (Corgis are my favorite dog) so we start talking and it seemed like we had a lot in common and she told me she actually had two Corgi, which is a game changer, I have to continue talking to her now, but one day she stopped responding. This resulted in my heart being broken, just kidding I barely knew this girl, but this isn’t the reason why I hate dating apps. There are so many reasons why I hate dating apps. The main reason why I hate them is simply because they’re stupid. Why are they stupid you ask? Well let me explain, I don’t enjoy talking to strangers, I don’t like talking to people in general (I only message people after I smoke weed, I guess this is my liquid courage). I think everyone is boring personally (I’m sure people think I’m boring). Whether it’s Tinder or Bumble they both suck. I hate Tinder because I tend to just swipe right on everyone, so I can get a match, then when I do get a match, you can’t just message a girl saying “hey what’s up” or “hey how’s it going” because that’s too generic of an introduction, so I use my secret weapon which works about 75 percent of the time. I like to send GIFS, specifically of a seal waving and saying “sup” (just type seal sup, it’ll pop up) for some odd reason girls respond to this, maybe it’s funny, maybe it’s cute, maybe girls are just as horny as I am and want to talk, I don’t know, just somehow it works. After all that hard work of me sending my seal GIF I always get a “hey” in return and this pisses me off. This is the reason why I hate bumble. On bumble it’s acceptable for girls to send guys “hi” or “hey” and we’ll sure damn respond but if a guy does that on tinder you get no response what so ever. Maybe we should have double standards, I don’t know. Another reason why I hate dating apps is because, do we really get to know one another? Like I’m not telling a stranger my life story and every single detail about myself and I doubt they are telling me theirs. I hate it when girls ask me “what do you do for fun” and my response is “I don’t know, I don’t really do much anymore, I just work, go to the gym and run” this makes me sound extremely boring. Should I start lying to people? Start telling them how crazy my life is? In real life I’m actually a catch and I think I’m funny, but you’ll never know or experience that while messaging me on a dating app because well, I’m socially awkward and just don’t know what to do during these interactions. Any ways these are the reasons why I hate dating apps, yet I will continue to use them because I’m bored, and I enjoy swiping on people while on the toilet. By the way, if the girl with the Corgis ever reads this, please message me back. I would really love to play with your dogs and I would also love a discount at Target!