So I haven’t ran in over a week and I’m getting antsy because of it. I haven’t ran because of my knee. This a pain I’ve never felt before, like it’s been over a week and my knee still hurts. It’s at random times as well. Whether it’s when I stand in spot for too long or sit in a chair funny. Me not running is not what’s making me antsy though it just helps me be less antsy, it’s because my friend Laura. Laura called me yesterday asking me to me to go up to Albany to see her graduate and go to the bar for one last night out in Albany next weekend. I went to school at Albany for only a semester and it’s because my life was being turned upside down during my time there and it’s no one’s fault but my own, I justified drinking as the solution to all my problems. Either way I made two awesome friends Laura and Alex. So obviously I want to be there for her. I dropped out of Albany in January of 2018 and I’ve only visited once since Halloween weekend. After throwing up and my head using the toilet as a pillow, I decided to just chill out, this lifestyle isn’t for me anymore and I did for the most part. Every time I go to Albany I just want to go home. It’s like this place changes my character. I have crazy fun for the night but when I wake up the next day and it’s daytime no one was there and when they were it didn’t feel like it.
I Also have to tell my mom I’m going and I want to take my car but my mom freaks out because my car is on the older side. Long Island to Albany is about a 3 hour drive and I have to drive through New York City which isn’t a problem for me I’ve done it multiple times. My mom on the other hand freaks out for the slightest of things so I don’t know how I’m going to bring this up to her.
Back to running, today when I went to work, I noticed my job’s parking lot was the finish line to a marathon. This made me upset because I knew I couldn’t run even though I wanted to. I’m afraid something will happen to my knee mid run and I can’t run forever plus I don’t have insurance so I don’t want it to be something major. I think I’m going to try to run tomorrow and hope my knee doesn’t collapse on me.
Well have a good night guys, wish me luck that my knee doesn’t give up on me. Also let me know what you guys do to calm your nerves?