What I want.

I hope there’s not too many errors in this post I didn’t have much time to write this today before I went to work

So there’s this girl I barely talk to, but every time I do somehow she ends up saying “aww you’ll find someone someday” and I don’t know why she said that. I rather be alone, like I’m seriously fine with being alone. It sounds weird I know but I just don’t click well with people that well anymore and it seems like the older I get, I start speaking less and less to people like wanting to connect with new people, I judge a lot not in like oh that person is stupid way but more in I compare people to me way so if you’re not like me, we’ll probably won’t be friends. It’s just weird how she assumes that I’m looking for someone. Personally a relationship is just not what I want anymore. I’m 22 going on to 23 and while it’s May and I see people graduating from school, getting married or having kids. I’m not jealous about any of that. I’m happy for everyone else who is graduating, getting married or having kids because obviously that’s their dream but unfortunately that’s not mine. People think that just because you do any of things that I mentioned, that you’re happy or successful but I’m not any of those and I’ve never been happier. The other day I was going through my photos and after scrolling for a while, I said to myself, I have a fucking amazing life like I’m so lucky, I’ve travel so much since I left high school, like I know other people travel and others probably travel more than I do but I don’t know all the journeys I got to experience with all these different people. I think that’s what life is about. It’s not about fulfilling other people’s expectations. It’s about literally doing what the fuck you want.

Two weekends ago I was high at the bar and I said to myself “wow we really are the stars of our own movies” like you are in control of your life, so if you’re not happy with a situation, do something about it. In the end of the day you are in control of your happiness.

So to the girl who keeps telling me “aww you’ll find someone one day” I say no thank you. I’m not looking for a perfect someone. I’m looking for me. That’s why my blog is called discovering me. I don’t know how old all my followers are but if you’re on social media and you see someone with the “perfect life” don’t be jealous, 1. Be happy for them and 2. Their life probably isn’t perfect, so don’t worry if yours isn’t. Just focus on yourself. An example of this is my best friend Brian, I really hope his baby mama doesn’t read my blogs. He graduated from university, has a kid with his high school sweetheart, a beautiful home, a nice car, and he is one of the most unhappiest people I know. Me on the other hand I have none of that and I’m one of the happiest people I know. All these experiences I’ve been lucky to have, Brian hasn’t been apart of any of it, if anything he missed out on all of them. So just because you want something doesn’t mean it’ll make you happy. I hope you guys enjoy your life and start living in the moment and not in the future

P.s. yesterday at work went great and I was anxious for no reason, always remember to have faith in yourself because I seem to always forget lol

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