Pinus Cembra

Because with you all I needed was a picnic blanket, sitting down crisscross applesauce in the woods while the wind blows through my hair and the sun kisses my skin, listening to you tell me, “that’s an American sycamore not a Fraxinus Americana” like if I knew the differences between trees. A simple day in the woods does not feel like a day in the woods, it feels like fireworks in the city because in reality I’m just not you and you’re not me. We’re opposite who just happened to attract. We are opposite who found beauty in one another. I need to tell you. For the first time, I saw this tree and it didn’t remind me of you. It reminded me of me. A beautiful Pinus Cembra which is also know as a swiss pine. Finally, something that doesn’t remind me of the days you were mine. Finally, I can start living for me. Finally, I’m free. Finally. Goodbye tree. Thank you for setting me free.

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My Valentine’s Letter to you

Hey, it’s been awhile since I’ve seen you smile 
Hope you’re okay and that your faith in love doesn’t go away
Men’s wrongdoing shouldn’t stop you from doing you
You had a big heart and I knew that from the start
A broken heart and that may be my fault just don’t keep it locked like a vault
I’m sorry because I’m constantly throwing rocks at your window, I just want you to hear me sing though
Just want you to notice me, in the end I always wanted to end up with you
So, I pour out my emotions hoping that me being vulnerable is enough
But I’m a fool because the only time I manned up and called was when my blood turned into alcohol
You always witness my fall, I’m sorry for that because it’s been a while and you’re still in my heart everyday
I should probably let you go. I just don’t know how, I wasn’t taught how to give up.
Now I know this year you aren’t my Valentine but I’m hoping maybe one year you will be again.

Long Island.

You hate this place because it’s not you. You don’t have a clique. You hate these people because they aren’t you. They never got you. You rather see stars and trees because that’s simply what sets you free. It’s unfortunate that there’s only cars and beaches, oh did I mention the pollution and yet you think you have the solution to solve this grand problem that the world must fix, the goal that you chase, the problem you try to erase. At least you know this home isn’t your place.

As for me I miss your face, I’m on this island and I know that this isn’t my place, this is where I met you and I’m in love with the memories. I have a clique, so I feel like I’m forced to stick, but I don’t want to be here too, when I’m home it doesn’t feel like when I was with you. Is it my time to go? You used to say, “home is wherever you are”. I think you found your home and your purpose and I know life is not a race, but I feel like you’re winning. I try to force myself to be happy on the island where I reside. On an island where it’s impossible to get lost, so you know I’m jealous of you because you can just get up and leave, you’re able to get lost. I guess I’m lucky because the lost I get is the I’m lost for words. I never know if I should speak to you or should I just let the cat keep my tongue.